Game Wars!
by KingdomOfKupaKeep
Summary: This is an alternate version of South Park: Phone Destroyer. Who will win? Stan? Cartman? Kenny? Kyle?
1. Chapter 1

**_This is an alternate version of South Park: Phone Destroyer. At least if I were to control the South Park universe instead of Trey and Matt. Anyways the characters don't belong to me blah blah blah, let's begin the story I'll probably forget to update in the future._**

 ** _Summer In Cartman's House…_**

 ** _NO ONES POV:_**

Kyle: I say we play Christians vs Jews!

Tweek: Yeah!

Kenny: *Muffled* Christians vs Jews is boring. I say we play Cyber Ghetto!

Clyde: I agree, screw Christians vs Jews!

Timmy: TIMMEH!

Tweek: Oh, like cyber ghetto is any better than our choice!

Stan: Both those options suck, How bout Indians vs Cowboys!

Clyde: No way! You just like it because you win all the time Stan!

Token: Well maybe you should try harder! It's not our fault you guys suck!

Kyle: We don't suck!

Jimmy: y-y-you're right, you d-d-don't suck. You swallow.

Kyle: Shut it Jimmy!

Cartman: Enough! The only reasonable game is Stick of Truth!

Stan/Kenny/Kyle: NO!

Craig: I don't see anything wrong with it.

Butters: Me neither. I say we do Eric's plan!

Kyle: Don't you remember we threw the stick in the pond fatass!

Cartman: Doesn't mean we can't fight.

Stan: Besides that, the game wasn't that fun anyway.

Everyone but Butters, Cartman, and Craig: yeah!

Cartman: Then what is one game we can all agree on HUH!

Kyle: I have an idea.

Kenny: *Muffled*We're not playing Christians vs Jews Kyle.

Kyle: I wasn't gonna say that Kenny!

Cartman: Then what's your plan?

Kyle: *In a slightly annoyed tone* I was gonna say, how about we have a battle. Winner decides the game we play.

Cartman: I like it. Jews can really be useful.

Stan: So it's just gonna be a free for all? I say we do that, but have one team for each of the main games we'll play.

Kenny: *I think you get it by now* okay then, anyone who wants to play Cyber ghetto come to this corner.

Clyde and Timmy: *Goes to corner*.

Stan: Cowboys and Indians over here!

Token and Jimmy: *Goes to Stan*.

Cartman: Okay then, Fantasy anyone?

Craig and Butters: *Goes to Cartman*

Kyle: Christians vs Jews?

Tweek and Kevin: *Goes to Kyle*

Cartman: Okay then, we have our teams. Jew now what?

Kyle: Shut it fatass.

Cartman: I asked for the next step kehl.

Kyle: *Still mad but calming down* Okay now we need to draw starting boundarys.

Stan: What do you mean by starting boundarys?

Kyle: Okay let me explain. All four teams have starting base lines. Kinda like this…

 **Kyle Cartman**

 **(*)**

 **Stan Kenny**

Stan: So who owns what?

Kyle: Well, the Bottom right part is Kennys, the Bottom left part is yours Stan, the top left part is mine and the top right part is fatasses.

Cartman: Im not fat! I'm big boned and you know that!

Jimmy: Whatever f-fa-faa-fatty.

Kyle: The way it works is that each team will have to take land from other teams. Once a team is defeated, the team that defeated them will gain those players in their army.

Token: So if we defeat your team, you fight for us?

Kyle: Exactly, however the team has to be completely defeated, or has surrendered to a team. Also, each team must set up a capitol, or where the place where the leader stays when not fighting. Kinda like the U.S white house or a castle.

Cartman: Ok, anything else?

Kyle: Yes there is, I will give each team leader a rule list. This will ensure that if a team cheats on any of the rules that we'll discuss, they will be disqualified. Any ideas on rules?

Stan: No attacking at night?

Kyle: Okay seems fair.

Cartman: Since I know how you and Stan are, I say there are no Alliances between teams.

Kyle: Sorry Cartman but only one team can win. So even with an alliance, one will still lose.

Cartman: Bull Crap!

Kenny: I'm okay with it.

Cartman: Whatever, Hey why does the park have a star on it?

Kyle: That's the girls base so you can't claim it.

Cartman: that's gay.

Stan: Okay then, anything else Kyle?

Kyle: Well, anyone propose any other rules?

Kenny: Well what if someone has their house in another teams area?

Kyle: Okay, so we can set up periods of war. So we can all still hang out, eat, and sleep, without worrying about being attacked.

Stan: What if we have an unexpected trip somewhere?

Kyle: Then you will be excused.

Stan: Okay.

Kyle: So that's all everyone?...Okay then

Cartman: Well now that that's settled, let's set up and prepare for Fantasy to win!

Kenny: No Cyber Ghetto will win!

Stan: Obviously, ill win.

Kyle: Christains vs Jews will win you see!

Token: Come on Stan, Jimmy, Lets set up.

Stan: okay.

Clyde: Lets go guys!

 ** _And they all set off to build their bases. Also if you're wondering how the kids were able to build forts around the town without the police suspecting anything, then I have no reason. They didn't because I said so. Anyway…_**

 ** _To Be Continued…_**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Oh, just to mention, they are all in their uniforms from Phone destroyer in the specific themes that are assigned UNLESS I say otherwise._**

 ** _Kenny's House_**

 ** _Kenny's Pov:_**

 _Man, with the base I've set up, I'll win for sure. Stan, Cartman, and Kyle aint got nothin on me!_

Clyde: Cyborg Kenny, how do you like the base.

Looks good. Maybe a few more sniper towers there and we should be good.

Clyde: Got it!

Timmy, how is the army doing?

Timmy: TIMMEH!

Riiiiiight… I'll take that as they're doing good. _I wonder when we should attack. Hmmm… Screw it, I'll ask Cartman._

*Ring-Ring-Ring*

(On Face Time) Cartman: Why hello there Kenny, forfeit already?

No Cartman. In fact, my defences probably top that of yours!

Cartman: We'll see that on the battle field soon Kenny. What's the call about anyway?

Well, I was gonna ask about when we can attack other teams.

Cartman: Hmmm, I don't know. Check with Kyle, he should know. Also, tell him I'm ready.

Okay then, see ya fatass.

Cartman: Hey don't you call me fa-

*Hangs up* Heheheh

*Ring-Ring-Ring*

(On Face Time) Kyle: Oh, hey Kenny. What's up?

I just wanted to ask when we can attack.

Kyle: We can attack once everyone's ready. I called Stan and he said he is almost done. I haven't called fatty though.

He said he's ready. I called him before I called you.

Kyle: Alright then, we're all waiting on Stan then. I'll call everyone when you can attack.

Okay got it. See ya.

Kyle: Bye. *Hangs up*

 _I wonder what Stan's doing that is taking so long. Surely it can't be secret weapon, At least I hope it isn't. If it is a secret weapon I'm screwed._

Clyde: Alright the sniper towers are added Kenny. We're ready to fuck em up!

Good. We're waiting on Stan then we can begin planning our attack.

Clyde: Who do you plan to attack first?

Hmmm… maybe Cartman. I'll prove to that son of a bitch that we can, and will win the fight.

Clyde: A rival? Already?

He said he has better defenses than us. I want to prove him wrong.

Clyde: You know Cartman. He likes to bluff about shit he don't have.

Yep.

Clyde: So wanna start counting troops?

We got nothing else to do so why the fuck not.

 ** _Kyle Pov:_**

 _Come on Stan! Why does he have to take so long!_

Kevin: Kyle?

Yeah?

Kevin: While we wait, who do you plan to attack?

Well… Maybe Cartman. Where's Tweek?

Kevin: He's talking to Craig on the phone.

Oh okay.

Kevin: Anything we need to do?

No, you're good for now. Just get the troops ready for battle.

Kevin: Yes sir.

 _I just want to start already! We're gonna play Christians vs Jews and I'm willing to battle to the end! I can probably have a truce with Stan to make it easier for me. That way i-_

Tweek: Gwahaha!

Geez Tweek, can you be any louder!

Tweek: Sorry. That freeking traiter, He's supposed to be on the side with ME!

So what? Stan's on the other team, and I don't feel betrayed.

Tweek: You don't understand man! He's my bf! And he didn't care enough that I didn't like fantasy! I bet he doesn't even love me! Gwahaha!

Tweek, calm your shit. He still loves you, I'm sure of it.

Tweek: Then why did he not come to this side?!

He still loves you Tweek. He just doesn't like this game. After we win, everything will return to normal. I promise.

Tweek: Ya alright. But what if we don't win? Then what?!

Tweek, even if we lose, everything will go back to normal. Except the fact that we'd play some other game like Sci fi, Adventure, or Fantasy. So, can you just calm down and help Kevin prepare the troops for battle?

Tweek: Yeah, guess I can do that.

Alright, then do it!

Tweek: Okay!

 _Holy crap. If I have to wait any longer, I'm gonna die!_

 **5 Minutes Later…**

*Ring-Ring-Ring*

It's about time!

(On Face Time) Stan: Sorry bout that, Jimmy accidentally made half our defense towers fall.

Well are you ready?

Stan: Uh huh! You can let everyone know now!

Okay. Hey, I was wondering if you wanted to have a truce for now?

Stan: Sure, if you promise not to back stab us.

Why would I do that?

Stan: Just making sure.

Okay then, see ya!

Stan: See ya! *Hangs up*

 _Now I'll tell Kenny and Cartman._

 ** _10 Minutes Later (Everyone was informed) …_**

 ** _Cartman's Pov:_**

Alright everyone! Attention here!

Troops (Plus Butters Minus Craig): All hail the mighty Wizard King!

Starting now, the war has officially begun! I have planned with my two commanders, and we have decided to attack the Mystical team!

One troop: Who's the mystical team?

Kyle.

That one troop: Oh.

Another troop: I though Kyle was Christians vs Jews.

Look the author didn't want to fucking write Christians vs Jews every time Kehl's team was mentioned. So excuse me for calling it something that's easier to write for the author!

That other troop: Who's the author?

OKAY GET THE FUCK OUT!

Craig: *Proceeds to escort the troop out*

Some other troop: Hey that's not nice, he asked a simple question!

Look ass hole! I want to fucking explain my plan to invade Kehl, but you mother fucking troops have to ask questions every two fucking seconds! So, I suggest you sit the fuck down and listen before you get kicked out too!... Aaaany way. The plan will be to have two squads of troops sent on two sides of Medicinal Fried Chicken, and Raisins. Mostly cause I'm hungry for some chicken and that Bastered Jew won't let me in! So let's get out there and take em over!

Troops: Yeah!

Butters: What about Buca De Faggoncini?

What?

Butters: I mean, I've been into Italian food more than American food.

I guess we can take more land if we get to it Butters.

Butters: Hurray!

Okay now that that's settled, time to choose who I send to fight. I guess me and Craig will lead the battle while Butters makes sure that Kenny doesn't attack out of nowhere. _Not like he would even try since I scared him with my defenses._

Butters: Don't worry Eric, the base is safe in my hands.

Cartman: Don't make me quote you on that.

Butters: I won't.

Now let's head to battle!

Troops: Yeah!

 ** _10 minutes later…_**

Alright! Archers, try to shoot at any sniper towers you see. If there isn't any, then assist the warriors. Warriors, take out any high damage dealing troops that attack the Tanks. Tanks (NOT ACTUAL TANKS THEY'RE JUST TROOPS WITH A LOT OF HEALTH), fuck shit up okay.

Troops: Sir yes sir!

Okay, show me what you got!

 ** _Kyle's Pov:_**

Kevin: King!

Yes Kevin?

Kevin: Fantasy is attacking!

Oh god danmit, already?!

Kevin: Our forces at Medicinal Fried Chicken are suffering greatly my lord. What is your plan?

Uhhh hold on!

*Ring-Ring-Ring*

(On face time) Stan: Yeah Kyle what's up?

I was wondering if we can go through Town square and City hall real quick.

Stan: Uh sure, but why?

We're under attack by Cartman!

Stan: Oh okay, well go ahead then.

Okay thanks bye!

Stan: Bye

*Hangs up*

Kevin: So?

Send tanks though Raisins, and then send troops to ambush the distracted enemy!

Kevin: Yes sir!

 ** _Cartman's Pov:_**

Warriors, hit them harder danmit! Archers, try aiming at the head instead of the body!

*Five enemy tanks appear*

Oh crap! Tanks, Warriors, Go for the five tanks!

Troops: *Focuses the attention on the tanks*

Archers, focus attacks on the warriors now!

*Ten enemy warriors appear out of nowhere*

Oh what the hell!

Craig: I got them! *Spawns five versions of himself* (Yes the abilities for the characters ACTUALLY work, and yes there IS a charge for each time you use an ability). *Takes out 7/10 warriors before retreating* Well I got most of them.

Warriors finish the rest of them off!

Troops: *Dropping like flies from the sniper towers plus the tanks*

Crap! Fine let's retreat!

Craig: You heard him, let's get the hell out of here!

Troops: *Running out of the area*

Danmit! Now I can't have chicken!

Butters: ERIC!

What Butters?

Butters: The Sci fi team took over Big Gay Al and Nicholes houses!

BUTTERS! You SAID you wouldn't let Kenny take anything over!

Butters: I'm sorry Eric, but they were too strong! Did you guys win over there?

No Butters we didn't.

 ** _Kenny Pov:_**

Great defenses my ass, am I right Clyde?

Clyde: Yeah you're right! It took the troops 10 minutes tops to take that area over!

I can see it now. Me, you, and Timmy, all rubbing the victory in Cartman's face! It's gonna be hilarious!

Clyde: I agree! Now what's the next plan?

I say we have Cartman's fate be sealed another day, so I say we attack Stan.

Clyde: Okay then. But where would we attack from?

Maybe the street that is across from your street.

Clyde: Town square and City hall?

No that's too important of land to Stan. He'd send his entire army at us if we attack there!

Clyde: So the street with all the houses?

Exactly! We'll attack once our army is ready.

Clyde: Okay!

 ** _To Be Continued…_**


End file.
